“ My parents actually threatened my little sister and I with Krampus tales on Saint Nicholas Day. Because what’s the point of having children if you can’t destroy Christmas for them, right?
scrawl on the walls
Things people say!
Dec 16
Dec 07
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Entertainment Weekly hired a fancy research company to figure out what shows liberals and conservatives like best. They should have just hired us to make up the answers, because they’re really stereotypical. Liberals like The Daily Show, 30 Rock, Glee, and David Letterman. Conservatives like, well, a whole bunch of crap.
According to this rather entertaining study Republicans are into This is America with Larry the Cable Guy, Swamp Loggers, Pawn Stars, The Middle, NCIS, and Jay Leno. OK, I’m sorry, Swamp People is fascinating, I totally get that. Just look at those guys in the picture above. I’d watch them in anything.
But this is how stereotypes happen. Liberals are into schmancy shows about anti-heroes and ironic comedy. Conservatives are into reality shows about down home people and traditional sitcoms. And Mythbusters. Yes, Republicans like Mythbusters, the Discovery show where a bunch of smart people get all sciency about stuff. Aren’t they supposed to hate science and intelligence? Do you think we can get them to prove climate change so that the GOP will finally lay off the EPA?
Nov 29
“ Man… I remember when when I was a teenager, “Cyber Monday” meant heading into a Private Room on AOL and having a Half-Elf Vampire Hunter do absolutely unspeakable things to a Devil Girl Fairy Dragon who was probably some dude with a neckbeard behind the keyboard, but whatever.
— Ben Rhine’s Facebook status
Nov 17
“ ….I look like a Korean pop star. A *male* Korean pop star.
— Kim-Thao, after trying on my Daria wig
Nov 03
“ So Kim Kardashian is getting a divorce, 72 days after a wedding that is variously reported to have cost $10 million or more. Just to put that in perspective, that sum could have built 200 schools in poor countries around the world for kids who desperately want an education. Then Kardashian could have helped transform the world, not just entertain it. And the schools would have lasted incomparably longer than her marriage.
— Nicholas D. Kristof, New York Times columnist and journalist (via nakedslate)
(Source: almighty-sound, via trulymadlyme)
“ You guys are awful— disco has been great to me. Without disco, if I rub my crotch on a girl it’s illegal. With disco, it’s a bar mitzvah!
— Fez, That 70’s Show
Nov 01
“ It was then determined that running for any distance longer than half a mile was dangerous to women. It was for their own good, really; according to everyone, if a woman were to run long distances, her uterus would surely fall out and come alive and, I don’t know, strangle all the men.
— Why Women Runners Are Punk Rock, Erin Gloria Ryan for Jezebel
Oct 27
“ This is Obama’s protest to counter the Tea Party,” Limbaugh said. “They’re jealous! The Democrats are so jealous of [the] Tea Party they can’t see straight.
— Rush Limbaugh, an obvious library of evidence-based facts (My eyes just rolled so far back into my head I think I saw my skull)
Sep 01
“ The copyright runs through 2012. Conclusion: THIS WEBSITE IS FROM THE FUTURE AND HAS RETURNED TO KILL JOHN CONNOR.
— Ben Novack, while discussing this ridiculous website.
Aug 24
“ Not only do other people no longer smell the urine on me, but I can’t even smell the urine on myself! Which is something that I’d never anticipated being a goal in my 30s, but you know, what can you do? If you ask me, $16.99 for about 6 weeks worth of not smelling like a homeless man who wet his pants is worth every penny.
— Jezebel, Worth It: Pads for Pee-Pee Pants (about the author’s urine leak problem when she was pregnant)
Aug 22
“ It seems that most of the gays—or at lest gay couples—are found in vacation destinations that attract citizens of a certain age. Apparently like monarch butterflies, we will all one day flock to the same several locations and make they brilliant with our gayness before we die.
Aug 10
“ My mother called recently to tell me that an online dating survey revealed that a woman’s biggest fear in using a dating site is that the man will turn out to be a serial killer or a rapist. Men, of course, don’t fear this at all. Their biggest fear, according to this study, is that the woman will weigh more than what her picture appears to show.
— Weight In Vain blog
“ And if running has taught me anything, it’s that it’s important to keep moving forward, even if that just means moving your body forward.
— Weight In Vain blog
Jul 25
“ China wants its people to be more fertile now! Okay first let people have two babies, second stop wearing those tight bicycle shorts, then see how it goes from there.
